What I Have Learned in My First 39 Years

Yes I am 39 years old today. I am normally the last person to announce his birthday in a cheesy effort to have people give me a halfhearted hug or tell me how great I am. Today though I stand at the doorstep to that wonderful decade that will represent my 40's. I am not there yet but I would like to think that I am rapidly obtaining the wisdom necessary to conquer that decade and that today I may be able to impart some of that wisdom to others.

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I am so blessed that my five brothers and sisters and their respective spouses have all crossed that threshold many, many......many years before me and will be able to help me through that transition next year. They may have difficulty remembering what it was like but I am sure they will do their best to help.

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Do not get me wrong I am not saying they are old, but then again I am not exactly saying they are young either.

There have been a great many wonderful people born on this day.

The list includes Billy Ray Cyrus, Gene Simmons, Vivian Campbell from Def Leppard, Elvis Costello, Rob Halford from Judas Priest, Jo Dee Messina and Rap DJ Terminator X. You would think that this would indicate that I would surely have some musical talent. My family and anyone that has ridden in a car with me can assure you that I do not in fact have musical talent.

By the way am I the only one that thought Terminator X was simply the tenth movie in a series featuring an aging Governor of California that wages battle in a suit of armor padded with Depends diapers and derives his super powers from drinking a secret mixture of Geritol and prune juice?

I may not know about music but here are ten things I do know.

10. I did not have life figured out while I was in high school.
9. Just because you receive a degree in a certain discipline does not mean you are actually going to use it.
8. Diapers and formula are not cheap and Macaroni & Cheese should qualify as one food group.
7. Hot Wheels are just small enough to be flushed partially down a toilet and then lodge in an area where it blocks everything else that attempts to go down the same toilet.
6. The art of removing a toilet and then replacing it comes in handy. Let me know if you need any advice on this.
5. Not all marriages work out.
4. Some marriages do work out.
3. Your children will provide you with laughter, joy, and tears.
2. Tears of joy are much better than those of sadness.
1. Life will provide you with both kinds of tears and both are required. One type is easy to endure and the other is much more bearable if someone is holding your hand.

There are a few other people I share a birthday with that I would like to mention. Possibly the coolest person on earth, Sean Connery was born on August 25th. So was the much cuter, and much more curvier Claudia Schiffer. Fellow Notre Dame fan Regis Philbin was born today. Last but certainly not least happy birthday to my brother-in-law and friend Adam Rose who was coincidentally also born on August 25.

The fact is that I still do not have life figured out. I would like to make an offer or assurance to my wife, my children, my family and friends in the immortal words of another gentleman born on August 25, the great Monty Hall, "Let's make a deal." The deal is this, I will never, ever stop trying to improve my life or yours.  In return just promise me that when my vision is gone and I can not hear very well that you will drive me down to McDonalds every Sunday for my free coffee.

What I Have Learned in My First 39 Years
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